How to Grow Your Mindset: Lessons From "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success"
How to change your mindset from fixed to growth? • Wisdom Hit #5
When Carol Dweck gave 4-year-olds a choice between redoing an easy puzzle or trying a harder one, she discovered something unsettling: even at that age, some kids were already afraid of not looking smart.
As a Stanford psychologist, she's researched what separates high achievers from everyone else across schools, sports, business, and relationships.
I picked this book because it explains something I have observed but couldn't articulate: why some people bounce back from failures while others crumble?
Today, you will gain a deep understanding of the differences between these two ways of thinking through examples in:
Dealing with challenges.
Leadership.
Relationships.
An illustrative story.
Questions to identify which mindset you are closer to!
Growth & fixed mindsets
This is the main lesson from the book. If you grasp its essence, there’s not much left in it. It’s one of those books that heavily relies on a single concept and explores it for many pages, which doesn’t mean it’s not immensely valuable!
That’s why, instead of the usual format of the 5 most important lessons, I decided to identify the core features of both mindsets and deeply analyze them with tangible examples.
The book in one sentence: Your beliefs about where ability comes from (whether you think success is based on innate ability or developed through effort) determine everything.
The core concept is solidly backed up by studies described in the book. There are a lot of examples, studies, athletes, and other hyper achievers mentioned.
All quotes are from “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” by Carol S. Dweck. If you liked the post, get the book here (affiliate).
Fixed mindset:
Intelligence, talent, and abilities are static traits. You either have them or you don't. Success comes from proving you are naturally gifted. Effort is a sign of inadequacy because truly talented people shouldn't need to try hard.
Every situation becomes a test of your worth. Challenges threaten to expose your limitations, so it's safer to stick with what you already know you can do well.
Core beliefs
Highly sensitive to criticism and failure, which are interpreted as proof of inadequacy.
I either got talent or I don’t, and there’s not much else I can do about it.
Success means proving you are naturally gifted.
Looking for something or someone to blame.
Egocentric focus: afraid to look incompetent or flawed.
Avoid risks and challenges that might expose weaknesses.
Dealing with challenges
Fixed mindset people avoid challenges that might reveal inadequacy. When they face obstacles, they give up quickly because struggle means they lack natural ability.
Example: In Dweck's studies, students with fixed mindsets chose easier problems after failing difficult ones, even when told their performance wouldn't be evaluated. They preferred to look smart over learning something new. When these students hit academic challenges, their grades continued declining because they interpreted difficulty as proof they weren't "math people" or "good writers."
As soon as children become able to evaluate themselves, some of them become afraid of challenges. They become afraid of not being smart. I have studied thousands of people from preschoolers on, and it’s breathtaking how many reject an opportunity to learn.
We offered four-year-olds a choice: They could redo an easy jigsaw puzzle or they could try a harder one. Even at this tender age, children with the fixed mindset—the ones who believed in fixed traits—stuck with the safe one. Kids who are born smart “don’t do mistakes,” they told us.
If you are a parent, this book is a must-read. There’s a lot about how certain ways of talking to children influence their mindsets.
Leadership
Fixed mindset leaders surround themselves with people who won't challenge them. They take credit for successes and blame others for failures. They are threatened by talented subordinates because it might make them look less exceptional. They prioritize protecting their ego over what’s good for the organization, even if it’s the organization they own. They want to be the smartest in the room.
Example: Dweck contrasts Lee Iacocca (fixed mindset, Chrysler) with Jack Welch (growth mindset, General Electric. About Welch’s later career—keep in mind the book was released in 2006. At that time and context, the example was on point.) Iacocca became obsessed with his image as a business genius, stopped listening to feedback, and Chrysler declined. He blamed external factors and refused to adapt. Companies led by fixed mindset CEOs underperform because these leaders prioritize looking good over getting good.
Context: Refers to a study conducted by Dweck and colleagues at the University of Hong Kong, which explored how students with different mindsets approached the opportunity to improve their English skills. At the university, all courses, exams, and materials were in English, but not all students were proficient. Researchers asked students if they would take a high-quality remedial English course if it were offered.
Remember the study where we interviewed students from the University of Hong Kong? […] Students with the fixed mindset were so worried about appearing deficient that they refused to take a course that would improve their English. They did not live in a psychological world where they could take this risk.
And remember how we put students into a fixed mindset by praising their intelligence? […] Later, after some hard problems, we asked the students to write a letter to someone in another school describing their experience in our study. When we read their letters, we were shocked: Almost 40 percent of them had lied about their scores—always in the upward direction. The fixed mindset had made a flaw intolerable.
Gladwell concludes that when people live in an environment that esteems them for their innate talent, they have grave difficulty when their image is threatened: “They will not take the remedial course. They will not stand up to investors and the public and admit that they were wrong. They’d sooner lie.”
Obviously, a company that cannot self-correct cannot thrive.
If Enron was done in by its fixed mindset, does it follow that companies that thrive have a growth mindset? Let’s see.
Relationships
In relationships, fixed mindset people judge their partners for flaws and expect them never to change. They believe that if you have to work at a relationship, it means you are incompatible. Problems are seen as character defects rather than issues to work through together.
Example: Fixed mindset individuals often end relationships when conflicts arise because they interpret disagreements as proof of fundamental incompatibility. They might think, "If we were meant to be together, this would be easy." They avoid having difficult conversations that could strengthen the relationship and clarify expectations because addressing problems feels like admitting failure.
Spoiler: There are no 2 people exactly cut out for themselves.
Aaron Beck, noted marriage authority, says that one of the most destructive beliefs for a relationship is “If we need to work at it, there’s something seriously wrong with our relationship.”
Says John Gottman, a foremost relationship researcher: “Every marriage demands an effort to keep it on the right track; there is a constant tension between the forces that hold you together and those that can tear you apart.”
As with personal achievement, this belief—that success should not need effort—robs people of the very thing they need to make their relationship thrive. It’s probably why so many relationships go stale—because people believe that being in love means never having to do anything taxing.
Growth mindset:
Intelligence, talent, and abilities can be developed through effort, learning, and persistence. Success comes from continuous improvement. Effort is the path to mastery. Even the most talented people need to work hard to reach their potential.
Every situation is an opportunity to learn something new. Challenges are exciting because that's where growth happens.
Example: Students praised for effort ("You worked really hard on that!") performed better on subsequent tasks than students praised for intelligence ("You're so smart!"). The effort-praised students sought out harder problems because they understood that struggle leads to learning. They saw difficult tasks as opportunities to get smarter.
Core beliefs
Failure is just a part of the learning process.
Persistence leads to improvement.
Success comes through continuous improvement.
Taking responsibility and seeking to improve is essential.
Care about getting good more than being perceived as good.
If they are incompetent, they ask questions and want to improve.
Dealing with challenges
Growth mindset people seek out challenges because they understand that's where learning happens. When they face setbacks, they persist and try different strategies because failure is just information about what doesn't work.
Example: In business, growth mindset entrepreneurs treat failed ventures as expensive education. They extract lessons, adjust their approach, and try again. Sara Blakely, founder of Spanx, talks about how her father would ask her and her brother at dinner what they failed at that day, teaching them that failure was a necessary part of learning and growth.
Same fragment with puzzles for comparison:
Children with the growth mindset—the ones who believed you could get smarter—thought it was a strange choice. Why are you asking me this, lady? Why would anyone want to keep doing the same puzzle over and over? They chose one hard one after another. “I’m dying to figure them out!” exclaimed one little girl.
So children with the fixed mindset want to make sure they succeed. Smart people should always succeed. But for children with the growth mindset, success is about stretching themselves. It’s about becoming smarter.
One seventh-grade girl summed it up. “I think intelligence is something you have to work for ... it isn’t just given to you. . . . Most kids, if they’re not sure of an answer, will not raise their hand to answer the question. But what I usually do is raise my hand, because if I’m wrong, then my mistake will be corrected. Or I will raise my hand and say, ‘How would this be solved?’ or ‘I don’t get this. Can you help me?’ Just by doing that I’m increasing my intelligence.”
Leadership
Growth mindset leaders hire people who challenge them and aren't threatened by others' success. They focus on developing their teams and organizations rather than protecting their own image. They take responsibility for failures and share credit for successes. At the start of the chapter, there are a few examples of CEO’s
Example: Jack Welch transformed GE by creating a culture of continuous learning and development. He looked for feedback, admitted mistakes, and focused on growing the capabilities of his organization rather than just his reputation. Growth mindset leaders create environments where people can take intelligent risks and learn from failures without fear of punishment.
Atmosphere of fear is not good for employees nor for employers. How many times have you had a good idea at a meeting but realized it would bring you additional responsibilities with no extra cash, so you stayed quiet?
Speaking of reigning from atop a pedestal and wanting to be seen as perfect, you won’t be surprised that this is often called “CEO disease.” Lee Iacocca had a bad case of it. After his initial success as head of Chrysler Motors, Iacocca looked remarkably like our four-year-olds with the fixed mindset. He kept bringing out the same car models over and over with only superficial changes. Unfortunately, they were models no one wanted anymore.
Meanwhile, Japanese companies were completely rethinking what cars should look like and how they should run. We know how this turned out. The Japanese cars rapidly swept the market.
Relationships
In relationships, growth mindset people support each other's development and view conflicts as problems to solve together. They believe that with effort and communication, relationships can improve over time. They see their partner's flaws as areas for potential growth, not permanent character defects.
Example: Growth mindset couples approach relationship problems by asking "How can we work on this together?" rather than "Why are you like this?" They have difficult conversations because they believe the relationship can get stronger through addressing issues. They support each other's growth and development instead of feeling threatened when their partner improves in some area.
When people embark on a relationship, they encounter a partner who is different from them, and they haven’t learned how to deal with the differences. In a good relationship, people develop these skills and, as they do, both partners grow and the relationship deepens. But for this to happen, people need to feel they’re on the same side.
Laura was lucky. She could be self-centered and defensive. She could yell and pout. But James never took it personally and always felt that she was there for him when he needed her. So when she lashed out, he calmed her down and made her talk things through with him. Over time, she learned to skip the yelling and pouting.
As an atmosphere of trust developed, they became vitally interested in each other’s development. James was forming a corporation, and Laura spent hours with him discussing his plans and some of the problems he was encountering. Laura had always dreamed of writing children’s books. James got her to spell out her ideas and write a first draft. He urged her to contact someone they knew who was an illustrator. In the context of this relationship, each partner was helping the other to do the things they wanted to do and become the person they wanted to be.
Apart from romantic relationships, there’s also a part about friendship in the book.
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How to grow your mindset
We talked about one of the issues in last week’s post:
There’s another one I selected from comparing both mindsets. That’s something that will keep you stuck and declining afterwards, and one of the core features of the fixed mindset—being scared of looking bad. I will illustrate it with a short story about 2 workers in a Japanese packing company: Kenji and Minato.
Story to illustrate, all similarities to real people are coincidental.
The packaging company
Minato straightened his tie as he walked past the new employee orientation room. Through the glass, he saw a young man enthusiastically asking questions about quality control procedures. Typical rookie energy, he thought. He'll learn soon enough to keep his head down.
That rookie was Kenji, and he was indeed full of questions.
The senior employee
Minato had been with Kozutsumi Packaging for eight years. He occupied a comfortable middle management position, overseeing the production line for their premium gift box division. His desk was positioned perfectly. Close enough to the executive offices to feel important, far enough from the factory floor to avoid getting his hands dirty.
But comfort came with a price. Every morning brought a familiar knot in his stomach. What if today was the day someone discovered he wasn't as competent as his position suggested? What if the new automation systems exposed gaps in his knowledge? What if he will struggle to understand the new CRM software while his younger subordinates learn it fast? What if someone asked him a question he couldn't answer?
When the company introduced lean manufacturing principles, Minato nodded along in meetings but avoided volunteering for the pilot program. Too risky. When his manager suggested he attend the advanced logistics training in Osaka, he declined, citing "private concerns." When junior employees brought problems to his attention, he deflected them to other departments rather than risk revealing he didn't know the solutions.
His strategy was simple: maintain the illusion of competence by avoiding anything that might challenge it.
The new guy
Kenji started in the same division three months later, stacking boxes and learning the basics. While Minato focused on preserving his reputation, Kenji focused on understanding everything he could about the company’s systems.
"Minato-san," Kenji approached him during his second week, "I noticed our rejection rate spikes every Tuesday morning. Do you know why?"
Minato felt his stomach tighten. He'd noticed the same pattern but never investigated it—what if he couldn't solve it? "The quality control team handles those issues," he replied curtly.
Kenji didn't stop there. He talked to the quality control team, the night shift supervisor, even the maintenance crew and janitor. He discovered that the weekend cleaning crew was using a chemical that left residue on the machines, affecting Monday night production that was processed Tuesday morning.
When Kenji presented his findings to management, they were impressed. When they asked Minato why he hadn't identified this obvious pattern in his eight years overseeing the line, he had no good answer.
This was just the beginning.
What happened next reveals exactly how these two mindsets create completely different career trajectories. You will see the automation challenge that exposed Minato's limitations, watch his world unravel as his fear of looking incompetent made him genuinely incompetent, and discover which specific mindset traps might be sabotaging your own growth right now.
The story gets much more intense - and much more instructive.
The automation challenge
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