From “I want to” to “I’m a person who”
How to shift your identity towards desired life.
You have dreams, but how often do you stop at just wanting? How many times have you said, "I want to be X" or "I want to do Y," only to find yourself stuck, unable to move past that point?
What if the difference between where you are now and where you want to be isn’t about what you do—it’s about who you are? What if the real transformation starts with a shift in your identity?
I want to
You try to give up smoking and someone offers you a cigarette. You respond “Thanks, but I’m trying to quit”. It seems like a good response aligned with the new, healthier version of you, but it isn’t.
“I don’t smoke.” is the correct answer here. “Trying to quit”. Implies that smoking is still a part of your identity. To change external behavior, you need an internal shift. Don’t be a person who tries to give up smoking, be a person who doesn’t smoke.
You have said “I want to” a thousand times. “I want to write a book”. “I want to get fit”. “I want to start a business”. How are those things going? Great? Good for you. Not so great? Start looking for the cause inside.
“I want to” is a middle ground between provision and taking a leap. It's an expression of desire without being ready for commitment. It keeps you in the realm of aspiration. It’s a swamp, it’s nowhere.
“I want to”, “I try to”. Why won’t you just do it instead?
Try to come up with your own example. Eg. procrastination isn’t a time problem—it’s an identity problem. You delay because you haven’t become the person who does the work.
I’m a person who
Your actions don’t shape your identity—your identity shapes your actions.
The moment you say "I'm a person who...", you summon a future version of yourself into existence.
Weak identity
I want to write a book.
I'm trying to eat healthy.
I wish I could start a business.
Strong Identity
I'm a writer who produces one chapter weekly.
I'm someone who fuels my body well.
I'm an entrepreneur building daily.
Why this works?
Eliminates internal debate
"I don't smoke" leaves no room for negotiation.
"I'm a gymrat" makes skipping workouts feel wrong.
Triggers identity-consistent actions
Your brain will subconsciously align your behavior to match the identity.
Creates non-negotiables
Writers write. Runners run. Builders build. No "trying".
What ideal me would do?
Think about yourself as if you are already the person you want to become.
What decision would the person I want to become in this situation make? If you have anything near clear vision for the future better you, the answer is crystal clear.
The healthy me won’t buy cigarettes only because I know I will drink today. Dilemma itself isn’t difficult but choosing the better option in reality is. That’s why you want to think of yourself as the person who does, not the person who tries.
It’s a “What would Jesus do?” type of thing. Simple trick, but effective. Replace Jesus with the ideal future you or your role model.
Don’t try to, do
"Do or do not. There is no try" — Master Yoda
If you get the idea, now let’s talk about putting it into practice. It’s not an easy nor a quick process.
There's not a single day where you go to bed as a young and wake up as an old person. It’s a process. The same applies to identity shift. Read this for more. If you like the content skim the publication for similar topics, most readers don’t visit old issues.
Try this now
Pick one trait of the better, future you.
Pick one identity (e.g., "healthy person").
Write 3 "I'm a person who..." statements:
"I'm someone who meal preps every Sunday"
"I'm a person who moves daily"
"I'm the type of person who prioritizes sleep"
Faced with a choice, ask:
"What would the person I'm becoming do right now?"
Even if you will do this 10% of the time, at least now you have a clear compass to drive decisions.
Shift of identity comes from making good, small choices daily. Making good small choices daily comes from awareness. Speak in declarations, not wishes.
This post is just a casual, structured conclusion from stuff I have been reading recently. Not the best thing I posted, I know. New post will be focused on more tangible value and relatable examples. I also have a few cool things to put in the regular schedule. I have a direction I want to follow now. This newsletter will soon transform. I will extract the best of the best, and the favorites of favorites. Clear structure, clear value, better and more useful posts. Everything will be announced. When? When it’s ready. Stay tuned.