Fear Works Like a Flashbang
Why things are scarier in your mind.
First objections are rooted in fear.
Mental image
Is what your mind creates first. It’s influenced by fears, concerns, and doubts. Everything that can potentially go wrong is packed up and replayed there, over and over. That’s not unusual or bad. Your brain just prepares for what can go wrong, which isn’t the most pleasant feeling out there, sometimes it’s even paralyzing. That’s where the title of this post comes from. Fear blinds you, cutting out options from your sight. Our minds are often our worst enemies.
We want to keep it a protective mechanism and not let it turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
“We suffer more in imagination than in reality.” — Seneca
Unknown is scary until it’s known
The main reason for the fear of future events is that.... they are future events. You don’t know the exact scenario. Depending on the situation ahead - no matter if having a fuzzy and foggy image to being 99% sure how things will go - there’s always uncertainty. That uncertainty can drill a dark hole in your mind if you only let it do it.
How to deal with it if you don’t really know what you will be dealing with?
Analyze: Assuming you have a brain and some past experiences stored in it, you already got something to base on.
Prepare: Even if something that awaits you is completely new, you can roughly estimate what to expect. Grab a pen and paper and write it down. Put on paper everything that concerns you.
Forget: After doing that, just chill. Having self-confidence and awareness, you will realize it's not as big a deal as your mind makes it. Believe you can and you are halfway there.
Face it: And do it with confidence. Many things are as difficult as you make them out to be. If someone else can, why wouldn’t you? What sets you apart? Maybe that thing is only in your head. The brain doesn’t strive for your development, it strives for safety.
Gain experience: Just like in a game, you level up in life too. The more you face your fears, the easier it gets, lowering the difficulty with each attempt. Were you scared at the first driving lesson in your life? How do you feel getting into a car now? It wasn’t hard, it was new. Don’t sabotage yourself. The unknown is not a threat, but an invitation to grow.
Real image
Is neither good nor bad. The truth is that it just is what it is, and whatever you make of it is up to you. You can fail being well prepared and do well being not prepared at all. Throughout life, you encounter various doors. There are some unpredictable (and predictable) elements that can make the doors easier or harder to force. In both scenarios, the key to those doors is self-confidence.
“You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” — Marcus Aurelius
I love the quote from Seneca!
It's gives us a chance to change what we play and focus on in our minds.
I agree with you, a lot of it simply is what it is, or what we decide we want it to be for us.
A challenging season could be the worst thing or the best thing that ever happened.
Thanks for sharing this!
<3
I read your essay as suggesting that fear tends to be over triggered relative to future risks. I am not sure it is the case, but a theory which would back this idea is “error management theory”: if some mistakes are very costly, you may over react to their risk.